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As the couple headed for the house, the boys were playing in the yard. Just as Hoffman walked up the stairs, one of the boys lobbed a snowball at the back of Hoffman's head. In an instant, the foursome was happily returning snowball for snowball! "Right then I knew I had them in my heart," says Hoffman, who remembers spending the rest of the day at home building snowmen and drinking hot chocolate with their future sons. "That night we knew what we were meant to do. When we returned them to their foster family on Monday morning, we didn't want to give them back." It had been a long road for the former military couple that desperately wanted to start a family. "When we first got married, we found out we could not have children," says Labar-Hoffman. "We decided God had something different planned for us. We decided to adopt."  Although it took
nearly 10 years before all the pieces fell into place, the Labar-Hoffmans
used the time to educate themselves about their options and determine
what was best for their family."We knew the waiting lists for infants were seven to 10 years," says Labar-Hoffman. "We felt we could do some good by adopting an older child." The couple turned to the Statewide Adoption Network (SWAN)—which Diakon administers—and Diakon Adoption & Foster Care. "When we went to the classes ... we learned that most kids in the system were considered special needs because of their age. We found out there were an abundance of children available," says Labar-Hoffman. "The [staff were] a big help. They did a good job of educating us on the problems the kids could have." Hoffman agrees. "Tammy and I had 10 years to get educated," he says. "We knew this is what we wanted." When Timothy and Christopher first arrived in their new home, they had some difficulties adjusting. "The boys were in the system for four years. They didn't believe we would want them. They were very skeptical," says Labar-Hoffman, who took time off from work to ease their transition. "[Now] you see a light that didn't use to be there. They didn't use to laugh for the sake of something silly. It was difficult to show emotions. They don't have that problem anymore." The boys' finalization highlighted Diakon's celebration of its 3,500th adoption finalization, occurring as Diakon Adoption & Foster Care marked its 30th anniversary in 2002. "It's amazing when you think of it-3,500 children have found the love and stability they needed over the last 30 years as the result of this service," says Linda Ciampi, senior vice president for Diakon's Congregation, Children, & Family Services. "But what's even more important is that so many children continue to wait for a family. We hope the next 30 years will be even more successful in ending that wait for as many more children as possible." Timothy and Christopher meet with an in-home therapist three times a week; significantly less time then when they first moved in with the Labar-Hoffmans about a year and a half ago. "They're more open about what's gone on in their past, because they feel more stable in their home," says Hoffman. "They are coming to realize that they are here permanently." While the boys have various special needs, the love and support their new parents have given them has made quite a difference. "Timmy was considered unable to learn a year and a half ago," says Labar-Hoffman. "He is now in regular education and is on target for reading." Timothy's younger brother Christopher gained 10 pounds in the first three months in his new home. "We can't get him to stop eating," laughs Hoffman. "He is a very active little boy." Another reason they have flourished is adherence to a regular routine. "They have a structure and know what is expected of them," says Labar-Hoffman about family routines. "We had them before they came. We've just incorporated them into our schedule. It has helped considerably." Although the couple says their life is completely unrecognizable from what they were before they had children, they wouldn't trade it for anything. "[Adoption] is our way to have children. This is our second chance," says Hoffman. "There isn't a day that goes by that we don't give the boys hugs and kisses and tell them how blessed we are to have them." Convinced that they have more love to offer, the Labar-Hoffmans are planning to add a daughter to the mix. "If you know you really want kids, you'll do anything to get them. You will bend over backwards for them," says Hoffman. "We feel very fortunate to have the experience that we've had." |
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 Diakon Adoption & Foster Care ©2000-2008 Diakon Lutheran Social Ministries |
